The Truth About Trauma: Reality vs. Tik Tok Myths

          The “t” word seems to be on everyone’s mind lately. Trauma. Wherever you go, you’re bound to hear someone talking about being traumatized by their terrible parking experience or having to take the stairs because of a past trauma with an elevator. The Body Keeps the Score, It Didn’t Start with You, We Don’t Talk About Bruno and more in pop culture tell us that trauma can be passed down from generation to generation. You may feel like you had a perfectly normal childhood and upbringing, you couldn’t possibly have trauma. Could you?

What is Trauma?

When most people hear the word “trauma” they think of soldiers returning from war, victims from violent crimes, and other gruesome and horrific experiences. These events can indeed count as traumatizing. However, as neuroscience has rapidly developed in the past few decades, researchers are learning that there are different types of traumas that can affect people. Trauma, in general, can be defined as an emotional response to a negative event, or series of events, which has disrupted a person’s sense of security and safety and left a “sore spot” as trauma psychologist Ricky Greenwald suggests. These sore spots are like scars that sit unprocessed in the brain, and when prodded by everyday triggers and experiences, can cause pain, outbursts, and other emotional reactions.

Big “T” vs. Little “T” Trauma

Some researchers refer to the spectrum of trauma experiences as Big Trauma and Little Trauma, or Big T and Little T. Big “T” trauma is what most people think of when talking about trauma, surviving a catastrophic event or a violent attack. However, Little T trauma can still be a sore spot on the brain. These are smaller, but pervasive events that can cause emotional harm, such as being shamed by adults when you were a child, bullying, emotional neglect, and even common experiences like divorce, religious shaming, and systemic oppression. Both types of traumas can affect an individual's ability to function in a healthy way.

Why Am I Hearing So Much About Trauma Right Now?

Trauma is finally having its day in popular culture because we have made so many advancements in understanding its impact on the brain and human behavior. In the past few decades, progress in Neuroimaging technology has allowed researchers to study the effect of trauma on the brain in real time. At the same time new studies in psychology have also advanced the field of trauma work. Other worldwide events such as the pandemic, warfare, terrorist attacks and deadly natural events like Hurricane Harvey have led to discussion on how these events impact us as emotional beings. The effects of trauma on our psyches is not just a pop culture fad, but a scientific advance in understanding our brains and human behaviors that can shape how we treat mental health for years to come.

 How Can I Tell If I or Someone I Love is Experiencing Trauma?

Almost everyone has experienced some kind of trauma just from being a person in the world. It’s impossible to go through life without experiencing challenging and tough events. However, trauma only becomes a problem when the memories and experiences around it have not become processed as normal, non-threatening memories. When the brain and body still have the sore spots of trauma, the person remains in a hypervigilant state, unable to relax because of the threat of the trauma occurring again. Here are some of the ways unprocessed trauma could be showing up in your life:

1. Flashbacks and Intrusive Memories
   Images and memories from the event that occurred, whether it was Big T or Little T trauma show up in your life. Examples of this could be, a child or teen preparing to give a presentation but avoiding the project due to unstoppable memories of their last project where a fellow classmate or teacher criticized their presentation in front of the entire class. Or a woman who has experienced a violent attack having images of the attack flood through her mind if she sees the building where it occurred.

2. Avoidance or Numbing
   People who have experienced trauma that they are still struggling with often use coping mechanisms to deal with the pain. This can be using substances to numb the pain or on a less hazadarious scale, avoiding things that cause a painful reaction. An example might be a person who has been in a car wreck no longer being able to drive because they are so afraid from the car wreck.

3. Hyperarousal
   This can be seen often in children who have experienced trauma, but adults also can show signs of hyperarousal. Often these children seem like they may have ADHD, they are distracted, restless and fidgety. However, it’s due to their nervous systems constantly being in a fight or flight state of arousal because they’ve learned to be weary of the world. Adults can also have these same reactions.

4. Negative Changes in Thoughts and Moods
   People who have experienced trauma can often take those life events and develop negative cognitions about themselves due to the event, whether or not they had anything to even do with it. Experiencing something that the brain perceives as traumatic upsets the balance of their world view and can leave people feeling angry, sad, scared, and more. It can lead to beliefs that they are helpless, unlovable, weak, or not deserving of good things. 

Dealing with Trauma

If you are someone who has experienced any kind of trauma, big T, or little T kind, you don’t have to live with the pain of unprocessed emotions and memories. 

1. Get Professional Help
   While many mental health issues can be managed by changes in lifestyle, resolving painful memories is often best handled by working with a professional mental health provider. EMDR and Brainspotting are two modalities many therapists used to process and clear these memories. The therapists at Reflect Therapy in Houston, Texas are all trained in EMDR and work with children, teens, adults on resolving painful life experiences.

2.   Practice self-care
   We have learned from brain science over the past few decades that having to manage the emotions and negative cognitions from trauma can be a drain on the nervous system. This makes it doubly important for people who have been through tough experiences to take care of themselves, whether this means extra sleep, scheduling breaks after overwhelming sensory experiences, or eating good foods, it depends on the individual what will work best for them to take care of themselves.

3.  Build a support system
   People who have been through tough experiences can benefit from knowing they are not alone. For some people, that can mean joining a support group of people who have experienced the same issues as them. For others it could be turning to family or friends for comfort and someone to listen. Let others know if you need someone to problem solve or just be a friendly ear and lean on them through the hard days if needed.

4. Recognize trauma reactions in yourself
   Learn more about how trauma can affect people by reading books, listening to podcasts, or talking to a mental health professional. Develop an awareness of when you might be having a reaction that was caused by trauma. Many people blame themselves for their “anger problems” or “difficulty focusing” when they are in fact, reacting to something that brushes the sore painful memories in their brain. Give yourself grace and get support from a qualified professional like the therapists at Reflect Therapy.

“We don’t talk about Bruno”, they sing in Disney’s Encanto, but burying painful memories can actually lead to more problems down the road. It can be helpful to acknowledge and treat your tough life experiences that still feel painful. The pain is a normal reaction of experiencing hard things, but when it starts to become prevalent in your day-to-day life, or you find yourself constantly on edge, having nightmares, and struggling in relationships, it might be time to talk about your Bruno or the trauma in your life. Though it can be hard to think about negative life experiences, being able to process trauma can also build resilience and strength to manage other hard things in your life. You do not have to be defined by your past and you can move forward after tough events. If you are looking for help with trauma in your own life, reach out to the therapists at Reflect Therapy in Houston, TX to learn more.