So, You’re Having a Quarter-Life Crisis, Now What?
Your whole life you’ve been told that your twenties are supposed to be the most fun time of your life. You’re young and free, navigating career, love and friendship choices with so many paths open to you. The world is your oyster! Except that instead of feeling carefree and hopeful, you’re waking up every morning with uncertainty, worry, and just a sprinkle of existential dread.
Welcome to your Quarter-Life Crisis!
The good news is that you don’t have to go through this time of your life without tools to come out on the other side of your Quarter-Life Crisis or QLC. Read on to learn more about this season of life and how to manage it, while still enjoying your twenties.
What exactly is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
Most people have heard of a Mid-Life Crisis and have the image of middle-aged adults buying red sports cars in their minds. The QLC is less heard of but encompasses the same feelings of uncertainty about life choices. Researchers tend to agree it typically strikes when people are in the 25–35-year range and that it brings on a sense of confusion and doubt in the life choices a young person has made. The QLC seems to be driven by pressures from society, (think your mom pressuring you to get married and have kids), changing priorities (you don’t want to go to law school after all), and financial instability (hello student loans!).
So, am I having a Quarter-Life Crisis?
Symptoms of a quarter life crisis hit across the board. At work you may be feeling unfulfilled and stuck, or yearning for something new and exciting to challenge you. The work isn’t bringing you meaning or joy and you know you want to explore and find new opportunities.
Or maybe it’s in your relationships with others. You might be growing apart from old friends and re-evaluating who has a place in your life and who’s just a background character. If there’s an unhealthy romantic (or otherwise) relationship, you might be debating in your mind if it’s worth continuing to spend time with that person. You may even feel ready to pop the big question, but that’s actually creating more questions.
You might also be questioning your values and what you know about yourself. This is the time of life many people begin to explore all that they are capable of and what really matters to them.
Managing your Quarter Life Crisis
Sound like you? Congrats, you may be having your very own Quarter-Life Crisis! The bad news is you’re going to have to deal with it, or face dissatisfaction and hurt down the road. The good news? It won’t last forever and it’s completely manageable. Check out these tips to learn how to ride the wave of this time of your life:
Self-care: If you’re into crystals and bubble baths, that’s great! But really self-care just means making sure you’re meeting your mental and physical needs. Are you sleeping? Getting some movement into your life? Eating food other than girl/boy dinner? What does your body, mind, and heart need to feel taken care of? Figure out the answer to those questions and practice ways to take care of yourself through this challenging time.
Try New Things: So, it turns out you hate your job. What do you like to do then? Use this time in your life to explore new activities and opportunities. Travel, try a new hobby (Tik-Tok dances do count!), or learn a new skill. Learning what you actually like and don’t like can help you with the next steps in your life.
Embrace Uncertainty: And it’s okay not to know all this just yet. Get comfortable with the idea that you may not have all the answers, ever. Uncertainty is a part of every stage of life, and it’s often where the good stuff happens.
Get Clear on Your Money: Talking about money can feel cringe, but now is a great time to come to terms with your financial situation. Learn about budgeting, saving for the future, and setting goals so you can live the life you want. And if you’re not sure what that life is yet, totally fine-that’s part of your QLC journey.
Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable: If you’re a Swiftie you know that life is not all rainbows and sunshine, but it’s hard to believe that sometimes when we see picture perfect curated lives of others on social media. You will fail, you will fall, AND you can get back up again. Instead of seeing your mistakes or setbacks as a reason to lay down in the fetal position in the dark for 6 months, feel your feelings, and then find meaning in the event that happened. Look at it as a chance to learn and grow. It won’t feel spectacular in the moment, it will be uncomfortable, but it’s all part of helping you grow into the person you want to be.
Find Your Squad: Sometimes it can feel hard to make new friends in the professional world. Throughout school and college, proximity, hobbies, and easier schedules bring people together. Most people feel the same way and are excited when an invitation for a drink or coffee comes up, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. And if you already have a great crew? Make spending time with them a priority. Opening up about your Quarter-Life Crisis fears and doubts is the opposite of oversharing, because they’re most likely going through it, too.
Get Professional Help: It’s okay to reach out for help! A therapist or licensed professional counselor can walk with you on your Quarter-Life Crisis and help you gain clarity on your next direction. A therapist can also work with you to develop tools to get through those anxiety riddled moments of doubt and be there to listen when you need a neutral ear to share. At Reflect Therapy, we have a team of therapists who get it. They’ve been through their own Quarter-Life Crises and are trained to help you learn skills to manage and get through your own. You are not alone.
So, take a deep breath, a Quarter-Life Crisis is a natural response to a time in your life when there’s a lot of uncertainty about the next steps. It doesn’t actually have to be a crisis but can actually be the plot twist in your life that gets you where you need to go next. Embrace the messy part of this stage of life and you’ll come out stronger, wiser, and ready to find your dreams.