Does My Child Need Therapy?

Often parents and caregivers find themselves wondering about their children’s behavior or development. We often get asked, “Is my child normal?” So, if you have wondered this about your own child, you are not alone! Kids and tweens often make choices or act in ways that can seem baffling or confusing. Most behaviors we encounter, however frustrating or strange they may seem, are often developmentally normal. (Those pesky bedtime battles, picky eating, intense friendship dramas and rivalries-the list goes on!) But how can a parent or caregiver tell when it’s something more than normal childhood and tween year challenges are occurring? When does your child need more help from a professional? 

Today's children and teens are navigating a much more complex and different world than previous generations faced, and these new challenges are impacting mental health in a new and often unprecedented way. What is a parent to do when faced with baffling behaviors? First, take a deep breath, and then read on to learn some signs that your child or tween might benefit from therapy, and what steps you can take next.

Signs that a Child or Tween Might Need Therapy

            First, we believe that everyone can benefit from therapy, regardless of if they are coming in with an on-going challenge or behavioral issue. Therapy has been proven to help children and tweens develop emotional literacy, communication skills, and improve self-esteem. However, there are specific times that therapy could be extremely beneficial for a child or tween to alleviate symptoms or problems:

1. Behavioral Changes

   Many children and tweens go through phases of behaviors and oftentimes you can wait out a phase, (though it may feel like the fighting toothbrushing phase may never end!). However, there are times when a behavioral change can be a red flag, such as new aggressive or angry behaviors, including more fights with siblings or caregivers. On the opposite end, withdrawing and wanting to isolate from friends and family is another sign that something deeper may be going on.
               . Many times, schools will be the first to report behavioral changes with slips in academics or conduct, so if you have concerns, teachers can be a good source of information. Another behavioral change could be new worries or increased fears that are not easily reassured or alleviated, and are getting in the way of daily life, such as suddenly needing to avoid all dogs or fear of being away from the caregiver, where these things had not shown up before.

2. Emotional Changes
   All people have different emotional temperaments, even children, and some kids feel more deeply than others. However, any abrupt changes in emotions can be a red flag that a child or tween needs additional support. This could be sudden mood swings, intense anger or crying spells, or just an increased frequency of feelings. Parents often describe this as feeling like they’re walking on eggshells around their child, never knowing what will set them off. 

3.   Social Challenges
   Childhood and the adolescence years are a time that children begin to develop social skills and learn about making and keeping friends. However, a child or tween that constantly struggles to befriend others, is isolating their friends, or is experiencing any kind of bullying, might benefit from the support of a therapist. 

4. Academic Struggles
   Sometimes mental health struggles can first present themselves in the form of school challenges. Depression, anxiety, and ADHD can present as low grades in school as children and tweens may have difficulty concentrating. Kids with learning disorders such as dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and others can also struggle from low- self-esteem and anxiety due to their school challenges. These can all be signs that your child may need professional support.

5. Family Transitions and Dynamics
   Families come in different shapes and sizes but changes in the family structure whether it be divorce, separation, death, or even the birth of a new sibling can create a time of change and stress for kids and tweens. Some family relationships might be more stressful and challenging than others, as well, such as relationships between siblings. Kids going through these types of transitions or struggling to have a good relationship with other family members might benefit from therapeutic services. 

If your child is showing any of the above signs or going through any life changes or school or friendship struggles, getting professional help could be hugely beneficial for them and your family. At Reflect Therapy in Houston, Texas we have trained therapists who work with both kids and teens.

How Does Therapy Help a Child or Tween?

            Many parents and caregivers understand that therapy can be extremely useful for adults, but they may find it puzzling what children or tweens may discuss or do in therapy. Research has shown over years that therapy can increase many positive social and emotional skills and reduce symptoms that brought children to therapy. Some of the other benefits of children and tweens attending therapy:

`1. Improved Coping Skills
If your child is struggling with intense feelings, acting out when upset, or withdrawing into themselves, therapy can teach them skills to express what they are experiencing in a healthy and constructive way. Play therapy as practiced by the child therapist at Reflect Therapy in Houston, Texas can be a helpful modality for kids and tweens to learn and practice these new skills.

2. Improved Communication Skills
Therapy gives children and tweens another adult in their lives to practice communicating thoughts and feelings in a safe and validating way. They learn to express themselves in therapy and integrate that into other areas of their lives. 

3. Improved Emotional Regulation
Learning about feelings is an important part of child and adolescent development, helping kids grow into well-rounded and emotionally mature adults. Therapy can help youth with recognizing what feelings they’re experiencing, understanding when they show up in their lives, and how to choose a plan to cope with those experiences. 

4. Improving Self-Esteem and Self-Concept
Therapy also helps children and tweens begin to understand themselves and believe in themselves. It can build up confidence and empowerment in youth to take on new challenges or face current ones.

5. Improve Symptoms
Children and teens who entered therapy with specific behavioral or emotional problems showed improvement, specifically after engaging in play therapy. They developed self-efficacy to solve their problems and language to express themselves in healthy, new ways. 

My child needs to see a therapist, what do I do next?

If you feel like 2024 is the year to get your child support and help through therapy, there are several steps you can take to help your family get started.

1. Research Therapists in Your Area
   Many families shop around for the right fit for their child, and we also encourage this. Ask friends, family, your pediatrician, or others around you for referrals. You can also ask in neighborhood Facebook Groups or search on a database such as Psychology Today, for a child or tween therapist. When you find a therapist that looks right for you, check their credentials to make sure they are aligned with your family values.

2. Schedule a Free Consultation
   Most therapists offer a free consultation, so take advantage of that time to ask questions and get a feel for if this is a person you and your child could work with. At Reflect Therapy in Houston, TX we offer a free 15-minute consultation for this very reason! If we are not the right fit for you, we will offer you referrals to help you on your journey.

3. Openly Communicate with Your Child
   Talk to your child about the possibility of going to therapy. Many children are curious and open, especially if the therapist practices play therapy. We recommend parents phrase this in simple, developmentally appropriate language, which does not shame the child, but encourages them that things can get better. For younger children saying something like, “We’ve noticed it’s been scary to sleep at night. We found a really nice person who is going to help you with your bedtime worries, you will get to play and have fun with them! They are called a therapist and they are like a feelings coach.” For older children and tweens, you can explain that therapy is a safe place to express yourself and the therapist is there to help them feel comfortable and help them with any feelings or problems they may be wondering about.

Most children can benefit from working with a therapist, and with children the process is often faster than adults in therapy, so they can heal and move forward with life. Especially in today’s busy and loud world, it can be helpful to have another adult in you and your child’s corner. Going to therapy doesn’t have to be a scary or shameful experience. Working with a therapist is like working with any other healthcare professional. They are there to help you and your child build a strong foundation of lifelong mental and emotional health that can benefit them long into their adult years.